Reflecting

You know, the other day I was telling a friend who is expecting his first child in March a few stories about our experience. Among them was the story of our ride home from the hospital with Charlotte. I sat up front and Beck sat in the back with the baby.

I had the radio on, but very low, and I swear it was the quietest ride I've ever had. Beck and I were both so nervous. You could almost hear the thoughts in both of our heads over the "Dan Patrick Show" on the radio.

We were both overwhelmed with the gravity of the moment. Here we were, driving home with our first child, with NO IDEA what we were doing. That was the scariest moment of my life, and I'm sure Beck felt the same way.

We walked in the house, set our stuff down, and were both thinking, "okay, what do we do with her now?"

Reflecting on that day now, it seems like a lifetime ago. Charlotte has carved out her place in our home, and it seems like she has always been here.

One of the most amazing parts about becoming a parent I think is how, if you put in some effort, it comes naturally to you. Don't misunderstand. I am not by any stretch of the imagination saying Beck and I are experts. However, I'm sure if we could have seen some video of us now, back BEFORE we left the hospital with Charlotte, we would have had a much livier ride home that day. I needed a diaper change when we got home too!

I wish there was a way to pass that feeling along to new parents so they don't have so much anxiety about coming home; Just to let them know it will be okay. What a gift that would be to a brand new parent. It just goes back to an earlier post here about being able to pass along those feelings and experiences to someone with just a touch of the hand (like the Nissan Maxima commercial).

It's amazing now how when my daughter smiles at me, those feelings of inadequacy that new parent feels seem so distant. I'm sure they'll return again, but my baby girl's smile sure does melt all of that away!