Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Adjusting Every Day

I haven't posted for a few days now, and I'm not really sure exactly why. I suppose I've been hesitant because I'd rather not post anything less than positive about my experiences raising my daughter, but I have been struggling lately.

I'm sure this time of a man's life can be one of his biggest challenges. That has been the case for me in the last week or so.

There have been several days recently that I've felt completely out of touch. I just feel like I'm struggling in everything now, and I'm frustrated. I find myself losing my patience more easily these days.

I sometimes feel completely out of control when it comes to my daughter. She rarely stays calm (or calms down) when she's with me right now. It really hurts me, and it's difficult for me to stay calm when she's wailing at the top of her lungs for 15-20 minutes.

The worst part of it is how easily I could sooth her just a few weeks ago. I was like a magician back then. Now I feel like I have an entirely new daughter, who only wants to be with her Mom.

I'm certain this will all pass, but it really is difficult for me right now. The only thing that keeps me going is the reality of the big picture: I realize how lucky I am.

I realize that this healthy, beautiful, sweet little princess is a tremendous blessing. I realize that my little issues are so very trivial when compared to the difficulties so many families have trying to conceive and/or raise happy, healthy babies. I have no right to be upset or complain. I understand this. It's just a matter of occassionally adjusting my perspective to continue to see the entire picture.

Every day is an adjustment right now... but what a great reason to be flexible.

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

Hey, I'm sorry you're going through this. Who knows what's going on with Charlotte, but it will pass. You are a great Dad and it's not your fault, you know. That will happen when she's a teenager. I know.